A raw, empowering dive into religious trauma, perfectionism, and the journey of reparenting after spiritual abuse.
Parallel to this, the illusion of perfection within more “mainstream” religious environments—such as Lutheranism—enforced behavioral expectations that buried individuality. Compliance was rewarded, and divergence punished. In these tightly controlled environments, children learned that outward appearances mattered more than inward well-being. For one speaker, being labeled the “black egg” in a perfectly polished family bred lifelong anxiety and an unhealthy desire to overperform for validation. These roles, etched in early life, continue to echo into adulthood, often showing up in perfectionism, self-abandonment, or emotional withdrawal.
The most painful revelations center around betrayal within the church itself. Grooming, emotional manipulation, and spiritual gaslighting were not only present—they were hidden under the guise of righteousness. Survivors were told it was their fault, their temptation, their shame to carry. These experiences dismantled the line between faith and fear, leading to disillusionment not with God, but with the institutions that claimed to represent him. The trauma was not only psychological but spiritual, leaving deep fractures in trust, self-worth, and relational safety.
Yet amid the pain, the path to healing begins. Through vulnerability, sobriety, therapy, and compassionate parenting, these women have reclaimed power over their narratives. They are not defined by the religion that once silenced them. Instead, they now parent from a place of choice, not coercion—instilling empathy, accountability, and agency in their children. This episode is a raw reminder that reparenting begins when we confront what hurt us, speak it aloud, and choose to do it differently for the next generation.
Meet the Expert
Emily Baggen is a survivor of spiritual trauma and an expert in lived experience. Her intimate understanding of religious coercion, familial dysfunction, and psychological fragmentation offers profound insight into how toxic doctrine intertwines with identity. Through her own healing journey—marked by sobriety, boundary setting, and unlearning perfectionism—Emily brings a rare combination of authenticity and resilience. Her story equips others navigating religious disillusionment, especially women unlearning harmful narratives about obedience, shame, and self-worth.
The Big Idea
The core challenge explored here is how authoritarian religion—when introduced in childhood—can mutate into spiritual trauma. When families embrace religious systems not as a faith but as a form of control, children are robbed of autonomy, emotional safety, and sometimes even their bodily agency. This conversation unpacks how the intersection of perfectionism, religious abuse, and family secrecy leads to deep psychological damage. But it also highlights the opportunity: to reclaim agency, build healthy belief systems, and raise the next generation with empathy rather than fear.
Key Takeaways
- Religious trauma often begins with the loss of choice. When children are forced into belief systems, it can create lifelong spiritual dissociation and emotional suppression.
- Perfectionism is not piety—it’s self-abandonment. Being “the good one” or the “black egg” in a religious family often masks a deeper trauma of conditional love.
- Abuse thrives in silence and structure. Religious institutions can sometimes enable predators by valuing appearances over accountability.
- Healing is nonlinear and deeply personal. Reparenting yourself—emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically—is often the first step toward reclaiming your voice.
- Faith and control are not the same. The most transformative belief systems are those that allow inquiry, empathy, and personal agency.
Tools, Strategies, or Frameworks Mentioned
- Reparenting Framework: A conscious approach to healing childhood trauma by offering yourself the empathy, protection, and care you lacked growing up.
- Narrative Reclamation: Owning and rewriting your life story, especially when institutions or families have suppressed your truth.
- Trauma-Informed Parenting: Choosing to raise children with emotional literacy, psychological safety, and consent in spiritual exploration.
- Sobriety as Self-Reclamation: Using recovery not just to quit substances but to reconnect with suppressed parts of the self.
- Faith Deconstruction: Differentiating between divine belief and institutional control—especially valuable for those healing from spiritual manipulation.
Final Thoughts
“I wasn’t given a choice—but I’m giving my son one.” This episode is a testament to breaking generational cycles. Whether you grew up under the watchful eye of religious legalism or felt the crushing weight of family perfectionism, your story doesn’t end there. Healing is possible. And it begins with telling the truth, even when your voice shakes.
Full Transcript
Speaker A 00:00:00.320 - 00:00:25.440 Your journey isn't everybody's journey. No, but you just have to do what's right for you. Hello and welcome to Pissy but Pretty, a show about hindsight, hope, tangents and cuss words. We are your hosts. Party tricks turned semi responsible women. I am your host, Heather Cairns and Emily Baggen. Speaker B 00:00:31.370 - 00:00:31.770 Hi. Speaker A 00:00:32.010 - 00:00:52.780 Hi. We're back. Pissy but Pretty, episode three, if you're fancy. Speak of trace. Yeah. If you're still here and listening to us. Thank you. Oh, thank you so much. Thank you, thank you. You haven't left us yet. Speaker B 00:00:52.860 - 00:00:59.820 I mean, we're entertaining. We are kind of entertaining, but sometimes not really so much. We're delving into some deep shit, so. Speaker A 00:00:59.980 - 00:01:01.460 And this one's gonna be deep. Speaker B 00:01:01.460 - 00:01:02.820 This one's gonna be a doozy. Speaker A 00:01:02.820 - 00:01:04.620 So get your Kleenex out. Speaker B 00:01:04.780 - 00:01:05.540 Oh, God, no. Speaker A 00:01:05.540 - 00:01:10.540 Not get your Xanax ready. You might need it after this. Speaker B 00:01:10.540 - 00:01:14.540 I'm gonna be loud. I just have to like count down from 10. Speaker A 00:01:14.700 - 00:01:15.220 Okay. Speaker B 00:01:15.220 - 00:01:15.580 Yeah. Speaker A 00:01:15.580 - 00:01:16.380 Breathing exercises. Speaker B 00:01:16.380 - 00:01:18.780 Breathing exercises. And focus. Speaker A 00:01:18.940 - 00:01:20.820 Yeah, whatever, whatever. Speaker B 00:01:20.820 - 00:01:53.100 So diving in again, childhood and religion, because it was something, at least from my experience, that was traumatic. We went from free loving, weed smoking hippies to Jehovah's Witnesses. Very strict, very sheltered. We didn't have social lives, we couldn't have friends. I couldn't participate in anything in school. I was out in the hallway when we would do like fun stuff for like Christmas and Halloween and whatever. In the hallway, like a naughty kid. Yeah, it was awful. Speaker A 00:01:53.180 - 00:01:55.480 I was in the hallway for completely different reasons. Speaker B 00:01:55.480 - 00:02:00.840 You were so naughty. You were so naughty. You probably passed notes with 30 words on them. Speaker A 00:02:00.840 - 00:02:21.560 Also, I did get a detention once. Remember those things that went, 1, 2, 3. I made a not so nice one. I went to St. Paul's Lutheran School, 4K to 8th grade. When you spilled it out, it would say like, your mom's a cow. I remember being one. Speaker B 00:02:22.720 - 00:02:25.280 Oh, I thought we were getting real dirty, your mom. Speaker A 00:02:25.280 - 00:02:37.520 But yeah, for St. Paul in like second grade, that was probably. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, I raised Lutheran, right. Speaker B 00:02:38.720 - 00:02:39.120 And. Speaker A 00:02:40.880 - 00:03:25.560 4K to eighth grade, there was a small gap in there where my family, we moved out to Washington State, came back two and a half years later. So part of the time I was. It was weird. Part of the time I was in a public school out in Washington. But then for the most part, here we were in St. Paul's Lutheran. And I mean, my religious experience from a kid isn't quite as traumatic as yours. There's some things that definitely I don't agree with and definitely couldn't Go on now. Like being spanked by my first grade teacher. Cause I ran in the classroom. Oh, yeah. Speaker B 00:03:27.160 - 00:03:29.960 Yeah. I never got to experience such wonderful things. Speaker A 00:03:30.360 - 00:03:35.560 Yeah. I could tell you exactly what the principal's office smelled like. Speaker B 00:03:35.640 - 00:03:36.120 Ew. Speaker A 00:03:36.440 - 00:03:37.960 Booze and cigarettes. Speaker B 00:03:38.120 - 00:03:38.560 Yeah. Speaker A 00:03:38.560 - 00:03:43.080 Yeah. He was a drinker back then. And everybody smoked in there. Speaker B 00:03:43.080 - 00:03:44.200 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Speaker A 00:03:44.200 - 00:03:44.760 So weird. Speaker B 00:03:44.840 - 00:03:45.520 That's awesome. Speaker A 00:03:45.520 - 00:03:56.660 Gross. And speaking of cigarettes and, like, I remember being sent there because my earrings were bigger than a quarter. Speaker B 00:03:57.380 - 00:03:59.060 Well, the bigger the hoop, the bigger the hoe. Speaker A 00:03:59.220 - 00:04:00.820 Now I could fit my feet through them. Speaker B 00:04:01.140 - 00:04:01.540 So. Speaker A 00:04:01.860 - 00:04:03.620 Yeah. What have you taught me now. Speaker B 00:04:05.540 - 00:04:06.180 Slut? Speaker A 00:04:06.660 - 00:04:18.880 Yeah, a little bit. Not. Well, maybe in those days, but I just remember, like, so we had religion class, we had catechism. Speaker B 00:04:18.960 - 00:04:19.920 I don't even know what that was. Speaker A 00:04:19.920 - 00:04:27.360 We had confirmation. We had chapel every Wednesday. And then church every. That's chaplain. Speaker B 00:04:27.360 - 00:04:28.400 Oh. Yep. Speaker A 00:04:28.640 - 00:04:42.000 Then we had church every Sunday. And we would have to fill out these sermon reports so that they would believe that we actually went and paid attention. We would have to be the little. Not altar boys, but we were candle lighters. Speaker B 00:04:42.560 - 00:04:42.960 Oh. Speaker A 00:04:44.560 - 00:05:14.390 But one thing, and I think this was the culture back then. And being where we were, everything looked perfect. People still to this day talk about how my family would walk into church. There would be five of us kids. We were all dressed to the nines, of course. Sat there perfectly. If we even laughed or giggled or made any sound, we got the look. Speaker B 00:05:14.390 - 00:05:14.950 Yep. Speaker A 00:05:15.590 - 00:05:24.150 And being raised where you have to be perfect all the time, really Fs with your head. Speaker B 00:05:24.230 - 00:05:28.310 It does. That has bled through your entire life. Speaker A 00:05:28.390 - 00:05:29.110 Do you see it? Speaker B 00:05:29.110 - 00:06:06.590 It has metastasized. Like I said. Yeah, Like I said, it's carried through. And you can tell with you and your sisters, you can tell. There was definitely sort of like the roles that you guys played. As I get to know your family better. There was roles that you guys had and that you guys played and you perpetually try harder and harder and harder, and you just gotta look a certain way, be a certain way. And. Yeah, I can see how that childhood sort of thing that you just had to be perfect has brought you through. Speaker A 00:06:06.590 - 00:06:57.270 Oh, I kind of hate that it's sticking with me because that was one of the things I hated the most because I was the black egg. Black sheep, bad egg. And so I was, you know, couldn't be because everyone else was so perfect. So, yeah. Being brought up, when you have to act a certain way, say a certain thing. And what's funny is now I feel like with my son, he's in public school, we rarely go to church. He knows of God. For me, raising a human being to be a decent human being, to be a kind human being, that is more important to me than if you can memorize a couple Bible verses. Speaker B 00:06:57.670 - 00:06:58.310 Absolutely. Speaker A 00:06:58.550 - 00:07:18.950 And when it's so shoved down your throat, I'm telling you, when I moved back in with my parents when I was 21, it did not matter how hungover I was on a Sunday, what time I got home. Yeah, I was up and I was going to church no matter what. Speaker B 00:07:19.270 - 00:07:21.110 Hungover, stinking. Speaker A 00:07:21.270 - 00:07:29.260 Oh, my God. I'm sure the booze was oozing out of my pores. Cigarettes and fog machine smoke was still in my hair. Speaker B 00:07:29.500 - 00:07:32.140 Smelled like Newports and bad decisions. Speaker A 00:07:32.380 - 00:07:33.660 Bad decisions. Speaker B 00:07:33.740 - 00:07:37.420 Is that semen or is that beer? Like, what is that? I don't know. Speaker A 00:07:38.700 - 00:07:54.870 But, yeah, it was something that I don't want. If my son tells me, hey, Mom, I want to go to church, or I want to try Sunday school, or I want to get confirmed, absolutely 100%, I would do that for you. Speaker B 00:07:55.270 - 00:08:07.310 I don't know how I would feel. I was thinking about that if, like, my kids came to me and they were like, yeah, they're adults. The Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on my door. Now, my son would listen and be respectful. My daughter, not in a million years. Speaker A 00:08:07.310 - 00:08:08.950 She'D be like, huh, Bye. Speaker B 00:08:08.950 - 00:08:28.570 No. Nope, nope, nope. But if he was like, I heard something that I like, and I really think I want to be a Jehovah's Witness, I think I would freak out because my experience with it was ugly and it was dark. The people that I was introduced to and were around me were awful. Speaker A 00:08:28.970 - 00:08:29.370 Right. Speaker B 00:08:29.450 - 00:08:49.670 And the people that came into my family's life lives, and my sister, you know, getting married to a really awful person and the grooming that was going on, and it was creepy. It was awful. It was awful. I don't know if that is still how the Jehovah's Witnesses are. Speaker A 00:08:49.750 - 00:08:59.910 Well, because yours could be. Yours was such a bad experience like mine. It had its issues. It had plenty of great times as well. Speaker B 00:08:59.910 - 00:09:00.310 Sure. Speaker A 00:09:00.710 - 00:09:07.030 I know most of my class of, like, 12, 15 people. Yeah. Speaker B 00:09:07.030 - 00:09:07.590 Yeah. Speaker A 00:09:07.750 - 00:09:12.150 They don't send their kids to private school. They don't send their kids to a parochial school. Speaker B 00:09:12.800 - 00:09:13.480 I'm not afraid. Speaker A 00:09:13.480 - 00:09:35.040 But what you have gone through in your religion, I think I would do everything in my power to keep my kid out of. But from what we've been hearing recently, it sounds like the Jehovah's Witnesses are changing their ways a little for you. I think It's a little too. Little too late. Speaker B 00:09:35.200 - 00:09:35.600 Right. Speaker A 00:09:36.560 - 00:09:56.130 And that's another topic that we'll get on. Like, I want nothing more. Nothing more for you than to have a relationship with the family you don't speak to anymore. But I know that there's a lot of hurt there that you would have to. There'd have to be a lot of accountability on their side, which my mom. Speaker B 00:09:56.130 - 00:10:09.890 As a person doesn't do. People in my family just don't do. I don't know that they would look at me and be like, damn, yeah, we know what happened. We're very aware of what happened. And that's. Speaker A 00:10:09.890 - 00:10:34.360 You told me, though, that's when I was explaining to a situation that was happening with my family, just with dealing with my sick mom. And I said, my family has a really good way of being defensive rather than looking within, taking accountability and acknowledging it. But you said it's human nature to be defensive first. Speaker B 00:10:34.360 - 00:10:34.800 It is. Speaker A 00:10:34.800 - 00:11:11.620 And you're right. And I was like that for a long time. And until I started getting old and saggy, that's what I'm like, noticing about myself that I don't like. And your journey isn't everybody's journey. No. But you just have to do what's right for you. And like with Parker, if he wants to one day say that he wants to learn more about it. When we do get a chance to eat dinner as a family, we say a prayer before we eat when we. He's 14 years old. And yes, we still tuck my son in at night because it's my only time anymore. Speaker B 00:11:11.940 - 00:11:18.800 But. But we say I do that until my kid's 40. I mean, his wife is gonna be like, bitch, get out. And I'm gonna be like, excuse me. Speaker A 00:11:18.800 - 00:11:19.640 I birthed him. Speaker B 00:11:20.360 - 00:11:21.160 I was there. Speaker A 00:11:21.320 - 00:11:21.880 Thank you. Speaker B 00:11:21.880 - 00:11:22.280 Sure. Speaker A 00:11:22.280 - 00:12:20.690 But yeah, we say our goodnight prayers every night too. And, you know, we pray for. If my son had his way, he would pray for literally, you know how he is. He's so empathetic that every person. He knows that. So we just keep it to the bare minimum. Sure. And, like, pray for my mom and, you know, things like that. But I want him to know who God is. But it's your choice how you want that to impact your life. I wasn't given that choice. And in fact, my husband, when he was born, little fun fact, his mom was 17 and his dad was 55. So weird. Yes. But as the way he puts it, that's how they did things in North Dakota back then. I don't think that's true. But we'll roll with it. Speaker B 00:12:20.770 - 00:12:21.410 Okay. Speaker A 00:12:21.650 - 00:12:46.030 So. Yeah, so. But they took him to be baptized in the Catholic Church. The Catholic Church didn't agree with their relationship. Didn't agree with him being born. I'm sure that they weren't wanting him to be aborted. I don't think that was Jesus back. Well, it didn't agree with him being born. It sounded bad, like a fucking dart, but it sounded bad the way I said it. I'm glad he's here. Speaker B 00:12:46.270 - 00:12:47.150 God bless. Speaker A 00:12:48.030 - 00:13:33.410 But, yeah, so. But they would not baptize him. So it wasn't until he chose. Before we got married. Our pastor at the time was a very kind woman, very close friend of the family. Very understanding woman. Yeah. Lady. And a little small. When we left the big St. Paul's Church, which my parents did, pull the three younger kids out of St. Paul's because there was a lot of politics, a lot of money. Money involved. Yeah. So we went to this little church, and he went to her, and he wanted to be baptized. So he got baptized before we got married, and he was 36. But that was his decision to make. I didn't know that. Speaker B 00:13:33.410 - 00:13:34.610 I got baptized at 17. Speaker A 00:13:34.850 - 00:13:35.210 Really? Speaker B 00:13:35.210 - 00:13:44.430 That is. I mean, that is something I. I can say with the Jehovah's Witness religion. They want you to make that conscious effort and decision. So I was 17. Speaker A 00:13:44.750 - 00:13:49.990 Yeah. I had no choice in the matter. I mean, I also baptized Parker when he was younger. Speaker B 00:13:49.990 - 00:13:51.230 My kids are not baptized. Speaker A 00:13:51.230 - 00:13:52.550 Yeah, Parker was baptized. Speaker B 00:13:52.550 - 00:14:27.880 Someday I'll get good with God. I think that's probably one of the more ridiculous things I say, and I understand how ridiculous it sounds. I will get good with God. It has been something that has been a journey for me because a lot of the terrible, terrible, terrible things that happened to me were within that religion and because of the imperfect people within that religion. So I had to make that disconnect from, like, okay, this is God. This is not what he is okay with. Yes. Speaker A 00:14:28.120 - 00:15:03.630 That's. I feel what I feel like, too. There's no one perfect religion. Right. And the religions that think they are. You don't know. The man himself, I think, will get up to heaven one day and he'll say, I like this from your religion. I like this from your religion. I like this from your religion. Now, with that being said, the scientific part of me is like, maybe this isn't just, like, part of my brain. Like, maybe. Mm. But maybe, like, if there is no God, I'm still cool with it. Speaker B 00:15:03.630 - 00:15:04.790 Like, I'm fine with that. Speaker A 00:15:04.790 - 00:15:17.350 For me, like, when people tell me they don't believe in God, like nothing happens to you when you're dead. That might be the case for me. I wanna believe that I'm gonna see my loved ones again one day. Speaker B 00:15:17.350 - 00:15:17.710 Sure. Speaker A 00:15:17.790 - 00:15:25.260 That's what makes me happy. And if not, I'm dead, so I won't know the difference. Speaker B 00:15:25.340 - 00:15:43.820 It's something that's very ingrained within the Jehovah's Witness religion that good people are going to be resurrected. So fast forward to my dad dying of cancer and I was figuring out my life. Speaker A 00:15:44.060 - 00:15:44.780 How old were you? Speaker B 00:15:45.820 - 00:16:24.700 Early 20s. I was like 23 when he died. I want to say 22, 23. I can't remember. I did the math once. Whatever. Yeah, I got married when I was a Jehovah's Witness. You get married young, you're not allowed to have sex before you get married. So everybody gets married super young just to get laid. Which is so stupid. So stupid. Because we all fucked before we got married. Let's be real. Come on. So whatever. So I got married, you know, I hated it. I hated him. I hated that dynamic. I hated not knowing anything that was going on because I was the woman and he was the man of the household. And he sucked at it. He wasn't ready either. Speaker A 00:16:25.340 - 00:16:32.540 So, you know, why him? And then were you like, it wasn't chosen for you? Speaker B 00:16:32.540 - 00:16:33.140 No, no, no. Speaker A 00:16:33.140 - 00:16:34.380 We don't do arrangements. Speaker B 00:16:34.700 - 00:17:13.380 But you're supposed to marry another Jehovah's Witness. For sure. For sure. So, I mean, when I was younger, you know, My sister was five years older, she got married at 20. And I thought he was the greatest thing. He was, you know, he became very close to his family. My ex brother in law, Yeah, I was 15. I didn't want to be home. And they were within walking distance, so I hung out with them all the time, you know, that was when my sister and I were very close. She was early 20s, I was a teenager, but turns out he was a pervert that was grooming me. He gave me my first drink when I was 15 years old and started. Speaker A 00:17:13.380 - 00:17:15.060 So he probably thought he was the coolest thing ever. Speaker B 00:17:15.140 - 00:17:20.900 Coolest thing ever. Oh, yeah. We partied like crazy. He took me to bars and my sister didn't know. Speaker A 00:17:22.549 - 00:17:23.669 Did she really not know? Speaker B 00:17:23.669 - 00:17:26.869 I don't know. I don't think so. I don't think so. She does now. Speaker A 00:17:27.429 - 00:17:29.589 Well, right. Did your parents not know? Speaker B 00:17:30.469 - 00:18:02.020 Because I would spend the night there. I was never home. I was always with my sister, you know, who is now her ex husband. So he was A filthy person anyway. But it just so happened that he was Jehovah's Witness and he was a man. So he was very looked up to. He kept progressing within the church and I knew he was doing and saying and introducing me to things that he shouldn't be doing. So it fucked me up. It fucked me up. And then. I don't remember where I was going with that. Speaker A 00:18:02.020 - 00:18:10.100 Do you? So, like, he was grooming you? Yeah, for he. Speaker B 00:18:10.820 - 00:18:24.450 I don't know if there was a crush, if he was just kind of a pedophile maybe, which is kind of what I call him, grooming for that. He said a lot of things like he married the wrong sister and things like that, which. Speaker A 00:18:24.450 - 00:18:26.410 And you were 15 and I was 15. Speaker B 00:18:26.490 - 00:19:11.550 Yeah, I was 15. But, you know, you give somebody alcohol and they're a completely different person. And he sort of trained. He taught me how to take shots, which up until I was 35 years old, that's how I took shots, because that was how I was taught how to take shots and not gag and be great, whatever. So that was sort of my experience with the religion. Nobody knew. He lied to my family and, you know, about what was happening and what he was saying and doing to me. It was all a lie. And I was. I believed him. He told me that they knew what he was doing, they forgave him, and they never wanted to talk about it again. And I lived with that until I was married. Speaker A 00:19:11.630 - 00:19:13.630 Do you wanna say what he was doing or. No? Speaker B 00:19:13.870 - 00:19:31.430 It only happened once, you know, it was brief because it broke me. It broke my brain. It was kind of a touching sort of experience. Started with a massage this one time and sort of in the clothes and whatever and he's a fucking adult. And it broke me. It broke my brain. Speaker A 00:19:31.430 - 00:19:38.270 I knew. So he told you that your parents, your sister already knew and they didn't wanna talk about it again. Speaker B 00:19:38.870 - 00:19:39.150 Correct. Speaker A 00:19:39.150 - 00:19:40.990 And so you thought that because I. Speaker B 00:19:40.990 - 00:20:16.340 Changed and he saw that I was. I mean, we went to church three times a week. We didn't call a church. We went to the Kingdom hall three times a week for meetings is what they called it, Tuesdays, Thursdays, Sundays. And it was obvious that there was a problem. But that's Emily being Emily. So, yeah, he lied to me, told me that they all knew what he did and they forgave him. They don't want to talk about it. They all know that I'm promiscuous and I wear low cut shirts sometimes in front of him. And I tempted him and how dare you? Speaker A 00:20:16.340 - 00:20:17.700 It's all your fault. Speaker B 00:20:17.780 - 00:20:18.340 Correct. Speaker A 00:20:18.500 - 00:20:18.980 Correct. Speaker B 00:20:19.780 - 00:20:30.340 So my experience with religion, yet extreme, is mine. And it's one of those things that's when I say I need to get square with God. It's. Speaker A 00:20:31.070 - 00:20:32.190 Well. Cause you're angry. Speaker B 00:20:32.190 - 00:20:32.830 Oh, for sure. Speaker A 00:20:32.830 - 00:20:39.150 You're angry about how it turned your life upside down in so many ways. Speaker B 00:20:39.150 - 00:20:52.350 And I was silenced. I never talked about it. I didn't want to affect him or my sister or our family or our life. I thought they all knew, and I thought they were okay with it. And I was like, oof. Speaker A 00:20:52.670 - 00:20:55.950 So I just kind of do a lot for your psyche. Speaker B 00:20:56.030 - 00:21:11.660 So I kept drinking. Yeah, I kept fucking drinking. I was drinking in school. I was drinking before and after school. I was drinking at the meetings. I was drinking everywhere I could drink. And then I met another. A guy, a Jehovah's Witness that was as much of an alcoholic as I was. So we got married. Speaker A 00:21:11.740 - 00:21:13.500 Sounds like a perfect combination. Speaker B 00:21:14.620 - 00:21:17.180 Yeah, it's outstanding. Yeah. Speaker A 00:21:17.740 - 00:21:18.380 All right. Speaker B 00:21:18.940 - 00:21:19.660 That's. That. Speaker A 00:21:19.980 - 00:21:32.430 That's our religious experience in a nutshell. It was a good show, and we will probably discuss more of it in our next coming episodes, of course. Speaker B 00:21:32.990 - 00:21:36.590 Because you come out on the other side. And that is the point of this. Speaker A 00:21:36.750 - 00:21:37.630 That is the point. Speaker B 00:21:37.870 - 00:21:41.070 Not what happened back then. We just have to kind of explain where we came from. Speaker A 00:21:41.070 - 00:21:43.790 Yep. And how we have chosen to cope. Speaker B 00:21:43.790 - 00:21:44.670 There's some shit. Speaker A 00:21:44.750 - 00:21:52.150 And we chose to cope in many different ways. Drugs and alcohol and sex and food for me. Speaker B 00:21:52.150 - 00:21:52.510 Food. Speaker A 00:21:52.510 - 00:22:08.190 Food. Yeah. Yeah. So we will get into all of that. And so stay tuned and you can hear all about how we dealt with it all and how I ruined my face many, many times. Speaker B 00:22:08.830 - 00:22:14.830 I ruined my vagina. No, I didn't. It's fantastic. No. Yeah. All right, we'll be back. Speaker A 00:22:14.910 - 00:22:17.590 We'll catch you on the flip side. Bye. Speaker B 00:22:17.590 - 00:22:28.260 Bye. Thanks for letting us tickle your ear hole and not turning us off after the first 30 seconds. Don't forget to subscribe and join our email list to get in on the action.
